A study* has shown that if you spend five minutes every morning looking at funny photos, you are 99% more likely to be productive at work, 86% more likely to impress that new coworker you have a crush on and 44% more likely to win the lottery. So really, what choice do you have right now?

Another study* also reveals that you should follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

* May actually just be wild, irresponsible speculation

A study* has shown that if you spend five minutes every morning looking at funny photos, you are 99% more likely to be productive at work, 86% more likely to impress that new coworker you have a crush on and 44% more likely to win the lottery. So really, what choice do you have right now?

Another study* also reveals that you should follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

* May actually just be wild, irresponsible speculation

Before you offer a helping hand, remember how many times in the past he has scratched it for no reason.

Before you offer a helping hand, remember how many times in the past he has scratched it for no reason.

Truth.

Truth.

He just wants a little KISS.

He just wants a little KISS.

Pfff, whatever!

Pfff, whatever!

First of all, I never said thank you. Secondly, my kids will not be going anywhere near this filth.

First of all, I never said thank you. Secondly, my kids will not be going anywhere near this filth.

Some neighbors can be so inconsiderate.

Some neighbors can be so inconsiderate.

*heavy breathing*

*heavy breathing*

I’d expect a person with that name to be selling something a lot more dangerous.

I’d expect a person with that name to be selling something a lot more dangerous.

Batman is a pervert.

Batman is a pervert.

OHHH! Apple Watch burn and a marriage burn.

More: The Best Internet Burns

OHHH! Apple Watch burn and a marriage burn.

More: The Best Internet Burns

Required reading for every young boy who is thinking about lying to his father.

Required reading for every young boy who is thinking about lying to his father.

Lookin’ good, lady Iowans!

Related: The 100 Greatest Headlines From ‘The Onion’

Lookin’ good, lady Iowans!

Related: The 100 Greatest Headlines From ‘The Onion’

It must be tough to be a millionaire All-Star basketball player with a sexy celebrity ex-wife.

It must be tough to be a millionaire All-Star basketball player with a sexy celebrity ex-wife.

Hmm, that might explain why Americans rank so low on this map of dick sizes.

Hmm, that might explain why Americans rank so low on this map of dick sizes.

I usually save this for Friday night, but what the hell.

I usually save this for Friday night, but what the hell.