1. It’s a celebration of Mexican heritage, so OBVIOUSLY the first thing you need is a giant sombrero! OMG Samantha you look ADORBS!
2. Make sure that sombrero is either bedazzled or has some super cute colors in it because if it doesn’t match your top, you’re gonna look basic as hell. Looking at you, Melissa, ya big skank! Lol jk jk.
3. Want to REALLY stand out? Have you and all your ladies draw mustaches on your fingers! That way you can take HILAR group Instagram pics that no one else has EVER done!
4. If you don’t want to draw on your hand, you can always just get a tiny mustache to keep on your face the WHOLE time! LMAO who comes up with this stuff? I can’t even, Whitney!
5. Since you’re going with authenticity in your look, make certain you wear traditional Mexican colors. You know, neon pink, regular pink, neon yellow, neon blue, leopard, and whatever color the skirt was that Haley had on last week, because OMFG I literally died.
6. Are you going to be doing shots? UM, HELLO? YAAASSSS! But what’s the point of simply taking a shot if you don’t woo loudly after it and make certain everyone in the bar is looking at you? Hashtag no thanks!
7. You can’t JUST do shots, (unless you’re Tiffani, who is a TOTAL lush) so be sure to celebrate our neighbors to the south with an authentic Mexican drink like Bud Light’s Lime-A-Rita! Now they make a Raz-Ber-Rita and tbh it’s PERF!
8. Sure you’re surrounded by your best friends, and there’s no one else you’d rather be with, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend at least 80% of the time staring at your cell phone. Facebook isn’t going to mindlessly scroll itself, is it?
9. Seriously though, any part of your body that you can cover with a sombrero, do it. Have you ever seen someone in black face? Think of that, but Mexican. OMG you are so on fleek, I can’t even make eye contact with you, Jessica!
10. You know what goes great with traditional Mexican attire? MICHAEL KORS’ HEELS, BB! Of course you’re going to fall and you’re going to have blisters and every step you take will cause a pain so deep it may affect future generations of your lineage, but GIRL YOU ARE ROCKIN THOSE THINGS!
11. You’re going to do one of these three things, so prepare accordingly:
– Cry
– Throw up
– Cry about throwing up
That’s why you HAVE to bring eyeliner for touch ups and mints for your breath. You’ll need them while shouting, “WHERE’S MY PHONE? CAN SOMEONE GO GET KATIE? I NEED TO TALK TO KATIE. SERIOUSLY, WHOEVER TOOK MY PHONE, IT’S NOT FUNNY!”
12. Some people think the most important part is just to have fun, and while that’s somewhat true, the only vital step is, even if you hate everyone around you, get a CUTE AF group photo that shows a little midriff, gets the good side of your face, compliments your highlights, and will make it seem like your life is perfect. If it doesn’t get at least 40 likes on Instagram, you’re basic and gross.
